Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Why can't all my friends live in my sweater closet?

Not creepy at all....

Being a "separated wife" (Brett hates when I say that, but it is technically true grammatically and globally, but whatever,) It is imperative for me to maintain my female relationships so I don't 1.) Only talk to my fish, and 2.) lose my fucking mind. Tonight was a quintessential girly night. 3 girls, 2 1/2 bottles of wine, one plastic Edward doll from "Twilight" and a burger run in pajamas.

If only men knew how simple it is to win over a females heart. I swear to God if Brett came home with a Bella doll for my Edward and a bottle of red wine wrapped in french fries, I would marry him all over again.

I love the fact that each of my girlfriends arrived in her pajamas. I think when I opened my apartment door and my friend Anja immediately started changing in to colorful plush pants my heart skipped a beat or two. After 3 glasses of wine my "Twilight" Edward doll came out. I understand this might be a bit creepy, but let me emphasize the fact that HE ACTUALLY LIVES IN MY SWEATER CLOSET, SO IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S OUT ALL THE TIME. In fact, he only comes out for special occasions. And tonight was a special occasion for sure.

Still decked out in pajamas we decided to cross the street for some really good burgers. And then it only seemed natural to stop by the local theater and purchase our "Breaking Dawn" tickets for the showing 16 DAYS AWAY. AND THEN it only seemed MORE natural to pose with the movie poster. I mean, why not, right? It is totally normal for two slightly tipsy woman in their late 20's to pose with a picture of a teen-age girl lusting over a dead, vampired young man.

It was the sort of night that I really needed, even though I am mid-week through a crazy scholastic time. When we all got back home and everyone was packing up to return to their boyfriends I had to suppress a twinge of frustration that sprung up sort of maniacally. I wanted to keep these girls here with me all night long! Why did they have to go crawl into the beds of the men that they love? Couldn't they stay with me, HERE, in my sweater closet with Edward?

It sort of made me chuckle later when I was alone with my thoughts and 3 smeared wine glasses. I was amazed at how incredibly selfish I am in my relationships. I want them to come over, make me laugh, eat junk food with me as we stayed up talking all night. Leaving was never an option. It never even danced across the outer stage of my mind, actually. How sad was that? That sort of realization made me examine other relationships in my life and wonder if I was hoarding them away as well. Did I allow people to flow through my life freely and of their own accord, or did I try to dam up their waters?

The thing is, tonight was amazing. I don't think I laughed more, wore uglier clothing, or consumed as much fat as I did tonight. But it also made me see that if we really love the people in our life, we have to love them without concrete expectations.

If my loved one was only a car ride away, you best know that I would party with my friends before I sleepily curled next to him hours later. I'm actually so proud and so happy that my girlfriends are both in such loving, healthy, and lovely relationships. I think I can share them. I better learn how, because Edward takes up a lot of room in that closet.

You know how the quote goes...the tighter you clutch on to sand, the faster it slips between your fingers. I think I clutch on to too much in life. I'm going to release the grip a bit from here on out and see where the kernels of sand fall.

I'm grateful for my gorgeous friends, for their happiness, and for pajama pants that come in neon colors. I can relax into that. I can enjoy that for every ounce of what it is worth.

I can open my palm and see where things flow.

By the way, in a completely unrelated note, a bunch of people are screaming on my street right now...and for about 5 seconds I thought it was a Zombie apocalypse.

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