THESE ARE THE ONLY THINGS YOU NEED TO BE A GOOD WIFE.

A LE CRUSET AND WILLIAMS SONOMA FRENCH CARAMELIZED ONION MARINADE.

Okay, back to our original programming.

Or not. I need to tell this story.

I became tired of moping today. I know, shocking. I made myself have a productive day. I went to Target with a friend. I bought decorative pillows. We stopped at the liquor store on the way home and when I told her how it only felt acceptable to me because it was almost 11am she just looked at me and said: "Let's not kid ourselves, ok? It is 10:15." So, by 10:15 am I had bought febreeze, decorative pillows, a bottle of scotch and 4 bottles of wine. You may be judging me right now.

Stop.

Anyway. This friend, her name is Heather. She is like, utterly fantastic. So funny. So direct. So silly for letting me in to her life. (Just kidding.) Anyway, besides Lindsay, she is the ONLY FRIEND I HAVE HERE IN THE WORLD. So, when she got this job at a local coffee shop...I sort of did too. And by sort of got a job with her, I mean I just show up for her shifts, but order coffee and watch her from the back of the shop. For, like, 6 hours at a time. It is not creepy at all.

SO, today I was doing my "shift" with Heather, and a thought dawned on me. I will now share this thought with you. It was: "DO NOT BE A DOUCHE BAG TO YOUR HUSBAND TODAY". That was literally the thought. I think it was sent by angels. So, as I drank my latte and stared at Heather, I decided that today would be the day that I would act like a real, live grown up. I packed up my bag, said good-bye to my new BFF, and walked home. But stopped into Williams Sonoma. And they had this new french onion caramelized marinade.

I came home. I SHOWERED! And then I cleaned our apartment. AND THEN I STARED AT GOD. God being, obviously, the French onion marinade. This marinade called for something spectacular. So, I cleaned the apartment again- for real this time.

I organized Brett's desk. I febreezed, I put decorative pillows out; I swept, mounted pictures...and then totally forgot what I was doing. Ah- the marinade. I remembered. And then I put on Louis Armstrong.

Picture this: A dinner: French onion caramelized chicken breast, rosemary and rugged mustard mashed potatoes, and a cold vegetable slaw of beets, shaved carrots, tomatoes, peppers, red onions...all tossed in a light olive oil/balsamic homemade dressing. It was divine.

Brett sat down, ate- and he looked at me like: "WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" In fact, he did not just look at me like that. He said that. Actually. So, I just ate dinner and smiled at him and hoped I had shaved my legs that day. It was the most perfect day of marriage ever invented by Williams Sonoma and a very expensive French cookware company.

This is my moral point: TRY. Maybe you don't want to. Maybe an "Amy's Pizza" and a limp salad sounds better on most nights. The thing is: We might not live a very long time. MORBID, I know. (And I should know morbid. My dad i s a funeral director, and most of our conversations start out: "So, tell me your most recent case.")

What I am trying to say is this: That amazing lingerie? Wear it. That china? Use it. Those nice wine glasses you sneak when your spouse is not around to cry about the washing of them? USE them. Pamper your spouse. BRUSH YOUR HAIR. WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT. Very simple things, but I feel we all ignore them.

When I die, I hope I am old and all of my kids are around me drinking wine. BUT, I hope more than anything I taught them to live this life like it is one big, fun, block party before they head home. Drink the weird watermelon-vodka punch. Dance with your husband in the living room. Make chicken from Williams Sonoma even though it is VERY EXPENSIVE.

Live life.

We're only here to mess it up and blog about it...once.

Thank you for reading,

Melissa